All You Can Eat
Eat Eat more Kielbasa smoked sausages
More chicken ‘n
Drown the fries with melted cheese, spread on
Carry it globed at the corners of
Forget the napkins
Fish Almandine covered in
Homemade, hand-pattied hamburgers
Squeeze out the grease with spatula
Cuts of onions sizzlin’
in animal fat.
Mounds of buttered mashed potatoes with
Buttered rolls next to glistening
Mountains of stuffing
Canned stewed tomatoes in ground beef
Pork chops, breaded
Texas Hash followed by
200 calories of pound cake
For Beer Sunkist chocolate milk Mountain Dew sugar water
Careful heart attack,
disrupt flow of blood
Orda a pizza with the works
Deep fried doughnuts
Twenty Buffalo wings to the couch
Too much salt!
Baby Back Ribs! Baked potato
Fudge nut brownies
Forget the salad bar.
Everyday a few mushrooms.
A mini big spoon of Mac & cheese will do
Fill the plate high
Throw in some cut up greens, cabbage
Check yr cholesterol,
Take a shot for diabetes
& order egg rolls
pack two under size
pass out on the bed
wake up, diarrhea
up stomach of roast beef
binge on bacon
ham hocks at Henry’s Kitchen
back to Piccadilly’s and gobble dumplings
by the plateful
meat wrapped in a napkin & stuffed in purse
swallow shish kabobs with Snapple
ham on toasted bun
grilled cheese on white bread
in a dorm room
steak ‘n eggs
Financial District, Sunday morning
prime example for a glutinous nation
salt sugar animal parts & stir
coffee & cigarettes, Starbucks
drop dead faster
set a place for the homeless & hungry
give ’em cornbread
Gumbo, Jambalaya &
sweet and sour beef
Bologna, pepperoni for the malnourished
Blacks Jews with potato salad corn on the cob
Stay thin with Powerbar
Pop anotha diet pill
Take a laxative
Crowd in the gym
Consume & balloon to
A bigga dress size
Chest pain, sweat
Make room for ice cream
High blood pressure
For Western Civilization consumption
Houses a cookin’
Fish fries in Brooklyn
Bake sales in Queens
Here’s a beer,
Drumstick, have another
And this is a plate of cheesecake you deserve it
I’m in it for some Cock and Ass
I’m in it
For some cock
I’m in it
For some cock
I throw the cock around.
I throw the ass around.
I want some cock.
I want some ass.
I’m in it
For some cock
Talkin’ about cock
Speakin’ about ass
Lots of cock.
Masses of ass.
Lots and lots and lots of cock,
Masses beyond masses of ass
Sitting on my face.
Lots of cock coming at ya.
I’m in for some cock and ass
Today I filled out an application at Pat’s Supermarket
Tony’s Quick Stop is hiring
World Class Beauty is hiring for stylists, but I don’t know a thing about doing hair
There’s a sign outside of Circle K that reads, Looking for Smiling Faces
Bob’s Auto could use a mechanic but I don’t know a radiator from a carburetor
I put in an application at Hobbit Hoagies but they never called.
Bill’s Bookstore needs a bookseller for the spring semester.
The Laundry Room needs laundry attendants.
Vinyl Fever is hiring
Lively Vo-tech is now enrolling
Bagel Bagel is hiring
Subway is looking for people to join their team
Kosta’s is taking applications
Exxon is hiring. I used to work there back when I was twenty-two but quit
Because my boss was an asshole
Wilson’s Barbeque and G & G Restaurant needs prep-cooks
Cash Register Auto Insurance need a receptionist
Stop ‘n Shop is hiring
Day’s Inn needs a desk clerk
Alberton’s needs a baker
I applied for a deli help position
I hear the breakfast cooks at The Village Inn make good money
Zewditu Mart has a help wanted sign in the window but I think they only hire Muslims.
I could be wrong but I don’t think I am
Renegade Barber needs a barber
Fantastic Nails needs a pedicurist
Citgo is hiring and so is Publix
Wal-Mart pays ten bucks an hour
Calico Jacks needs a bar back
China Buffet needs a cook
Applications at Arby’s, Winn-Dixie
Best Western needs an auditor
Border’s needs a barista
New Leaf needs a cashier
Background check at the Nail Trap
Registered at employment agencies
Resume downloaded, printed out for job fairs
I’m leaving tomorrow to teach English in Korea
Frequently Asked Questions about Poems Written about Ham Sandwiches
How many poems about ham sandwiches can I send at one time?
How often can I submit a ham sandwich poem?
Do you accept previously published ham sandwich poems?
Do you accept simultaneously submitted poems about ham sandwiches?
What rights do you ask for when you accept a poem written about a ham sandwich?
Are you strictly someone who likes poems about ham sandwiches?
What do you mean by all poems about ham sandwiches are subject to editing?
Why don’t you accept poems about turkey or corn beef sandwiches?
Do you pay for the ham sandwich poems that are accepted?
I received a letter saying I have made it through the first round of ham sandwich poems being considered. What does that mean?
How quickly will I hear back from you about the status of my poems about ham sandwiches?
What types of poems about ham sandwiches do you accept?
Do you accept poems about egg salad sandwiches?
Do you accept essays or reviews written about ham sandwiches?
Do you accept photos taken of ham sandwiches?
If I have no previously published poems about ham sandwiches to list, can I still submit?
How can I be a guest editor for poems written about ham sandwiches?
Where are your poems about ham sandwiches based?
Do you comment on ham sandwich poems that are rejected?
How short or long can my poems on ham sandwiches be?
Do you accept religious verse about ham sandwiches?
Do you accept rhyming verse about ham sandwiches?
What authors of ham sandwich poetry do you believe exemplify what you are looking for in a poem about a ham sandwich?