I’M NOT ANGRY! I’M DRUNK!
I’m not angry! I’m drunk!
I’ve had a pint
or two or three
and my voice is getting loud
I’m not mad at you
I’m not mad at the world
I can’t be mad at the world.
I’m drunk
and I feel lovey dovey
if in a sloppy way
I wanna hold your hand
or at least hold
another pint glass
fill it with Guinness
God bless the Irish!
God bless everyone!
I’m not angry! I’m drunk!
It’s not the angry white male
or the angry young poet
It’s a loud, happy drunk
slurring speech
and feeling no pain
just checking out the scene
feeling the music
and the spirit of the night
and some are offended
or taken aback
if I recklessly cuss;
don’t wanna offend anyone
It’s just the way I am
so listen to Behan
and have another pint
for Jay-sus sake
and mellow out
and don’t be afraid of me
cause I’m not angry! I’m drunk!
Not trying to cast
an intimidating shadow
over anyone
just trying to catch a buzz
in the eternal scheme
of this blissful, everlasting night
MENAGE Á TROIS
They were married
to each other
but both were bi
“they informed me.”
They explained their rule
that they could play
as long as they shared
with each other
Seemed enlightened to me
and my curiosity was piqued
if not fully inflamed
We were having some fun
when I notice one with a strap on
and I’m thinking
it’s meant for her wife
She says, “Oh no, sweetie.
This is meant for you.”
I gulp nervously
but we’re already
in too deep.
But I think to myself,
“Hey I’m 55 years old
and having the first menage á trois
of my life.”
Things are not so bad.
I know you’d love for me
to sit down
and tell you all about
but as much
as I’d love to boast
I beg you forgive my reticence
as I’m still a bit too sore
POET SLAP FIGHTS AND ASS KISSING
We are getting snippy and contentious anymore. It doesn’t seem like anyone can have any fun
anymore. So we have poets declaring on their posts that ass kissing doesn’t belong in poetry.
Hmmm, I initially misread the post and thought he wrote ass kicking. I was thinking to myself
that I can see room for both. Sometimes you do have kick ass and depending on the person, you
may actually want to kiss their ass. It isn’t all bad.
No ass kissing
No poet slap fights
No fun of any kind
Then I see a poetry group that frowns upon poet slap fights. I mean, come on, are you
suggesting we go for full on poet fist fights? I just don’t see that working. What was the
immortal line from Groundskeeper Willie: “You speak like a poet but you punch like one, too.”
Better to let poets slap fight and allow the illusion that they weren’t trying to hurt one another
rather than let them actually have a fist fight and reveal the pathetic truth. Besides, I happen to
like both ass kissing and poet slap fights. What can I say. I am a little kinky even if I did
chicken out when my dominatrix suggested CBT. Being kinky doesn’t mean I need my scrotum
scraped with sandpaper. I’ll take a hard pass on that one.
Let my poets slap
enjoy thy frenemy’s ass
all good in the end
COMPLIANCE
and
so
she said
Kiss my ass!
I quickly complied
I don’t know why she’s pissed off now
Dumpster Fire Press 