VOICES FROM THE FIRE: Laura Stamps

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DICK AND JANE BOOKS? 

See Jane watching an Oprah video on Instagram and discovering she might be suppressing her real personality simply because she’s a nice person, and has always been a nice person, and has always tried to be a nice person. See Jane run, run, run to her local Barnes & Noble, consume two cappuccinos and four chocolate cupcakes (a necessity for repressed women), and walk out of B&N three hours later with ten self-help books (so much to learn!). See Jane read, read, read, and realize Oprah was right, that Jane has suppressed her real personality for years and years and years (how embarrassing!), which she remedies ASAP by deciding to only be nice when she feels like being nice, to voice her opinion whenever she wants to voice her opinion, and to say NO whenever she wants to say NO. Now dinner is no longer on the table promptly at six every night because Jane has a busy social life after work (girls just gotta have fun, right?), like taking a class at the local college, or playing bingo at church, or going to the movies, or shopping with girlfriends. See Dick frown, frown, frown, irritated that his nice, sweet, quiet, punctual wife, who was always in a good mood, always took care of his every need, and always listened to his daily worries, woes, and rants (although he never listened to hers) has dared to change after twenty years of marriage, which is why at breakfast today he decides to end this insanity by demanding Jane give up her self-help books and her college class and her nights out with her girlfriends and return to being his nice, sweet, quiet, punctual wife, a strategy that does not go according to plan when Jane responds by grabbing a butter knife and screaming, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!” Run, run, run, see Dick run for his life.